Listening

Isn’t it interesting to be in the same room with people and experiencing the same moment and people see and hear things very differently.  Good listener, bad listener, points of interest noted, humor, compassion, etc. determine what one hears and says.  One person does not pick up on a conversation because it is of no interest to them.  Another listens very closely because they care about what is being said and respects the person saying it.  The conversation triggers a thought and other person's  mind races onto something else then not hearing what is being said. The next person listens because there is humor in what is being said.  We all can hear the same thing and yet hear it very differently or not at all.  I consider myself a good listener, but I have my own prejudices which can come into play when I listen so recognize that I don’t always hear what was intended (plus I have developed a hearing loss at my age).  One of the most dangerous things of all is to attempt to read between the lines as we listen because we can’t really be sure if we are correct.  I try to just listen openly so I can to continue to call myself a good listener (try be a key word).  I noticed lately that good listeners are getting harder to find.  In thinking about this, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are all just hearing differently because of who we are, our attitudes towards other, and our interest in the subject matter, etc.

I come from a very large family and learned early in my life if I wanted to be heard I had to talk louder than my siblings.  Often we would all be talking at the same time.  Later in life, I thought that I was speaking too loudly so made a point of trying to talk quieter.  Recognizing now that how loud I am is not as important as what I am saying, what I am saying, and is it being heard correctly.  Words are powerful and words misunderstood or not heard correctly can be hurtful.  I want to focus on having my words heard correctly, not just heard.  I’m going to notice my surroundings and pick my words carefully.  I’m going to work more on stopping and thinking before I speak and I’m going to continue to work on my listening skills still recognizing that is very hard sometimes.